Probably have to say writing these are the few I actually every write. I hate typing them. I hate rereading them but there's no use in blocking the truth. Just these last few days I've been reminded about my past. Yet another friend gone from my geographical location. Will it still work out? Only time will tell. Most of the friendships I've had hardly last more than 4 years at best. Who knows why I do what I do?

My fairy tale life in thought seems more like Beauty and the Beast. I'm sort of hoping the flower doesn't die out before I figure out what I want to do with my life. I'm not as beautiful as I could be. I could lose some weight, get that eye surgery ppl talk about, clear my skin up...

My friend get's more of the perfect fairy tale life. I'd think of her as Sleeping beauty. She has the gift of beauty, the voice to sing, and no she doesn't fall into a dead sleep. Maybe she's reached they typical fairy tale ending and met the man of her dreams. Only time will tell but I'd say for the one she's with now he's a great guy.

Anyways I'm starting up my blog again and putting this in there. Things will change. Things will get better. I have lied too. I do miss you. I miss them all.

David Archuleta Lyrics - Desperate

Desperate, desperate You're reaching out And no one hears you cry You're freaking out again 'Cause all your fears Remind you another dream has come undone You feel so small and lost like you're the only one You wanna scream 'cause you're Desperate
You want somebody, just anybody To lay their hands on your soul tonight You want a reason to keep believin' That someday you're gonna see the light
You're in the dark There's no one left to call And sleep's your only friend Would even sleep Can't hide you from all those tears And all the pain and all the days You wasted pushin' them away It's your life, it's time you face it
You want somebody, just anybody To lay their hands on your soul tonight You want a reason to keep believin' That someday you're gonna see the light 'Cause you're desperate; desperate 'Cause you're desperate; and now
You know that things have gotta change You can't go back you'll find your way And day by day You start to come alive
You want somebody, just anybody To bring some peace through your soul tonight You want a reason to keep believin' That someday you're gonna see the light You want somebody, just anybody To lay their hands on your soul tonight You want a reason to keep believin' That someday you're gonna see the light 'Cause you're desperate, desperate 'Cause you're desperate, tonight Oh desperate, so desperate Tonight, yes tonight Desperate, desperate

David Archuleta: My American Idol

This guy so has to win. He's awesome!!!

Someone's Got Problems

Emo Elmo: Disturbing but Comical Commercial

I'm Torn

Not really but this video is hilarious:

New Post for '08: It's Been Forever!!!

I know I haven't posted anything recently but for any of you that actually read this stuff, I'll be updating more. Too much time in the FAU library is giving me the ability to write a little bit more. This week is crazy but I'll update soon...

Interesting Summer

Haven't blogged in a while...do I have a reason? Find out soon.

Born To Fly: Sara Evans

"Born To Fly" Sara Evans

I've been tellin' my dreams to the scarecrow
About the places that I'd like to see
I say 'friend, do you think I'll ever get there?'
Aww, but he just stands there smilin' back at me

"Born To Fly" Sara Evans

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things Pt.2

Celebrity Eye Candy

Gay Movies Part 1

Hot Men Kissing Hot Men

Model Eye Candy

Livin' It Up At The Hard Rock, Florida Style

Got to stay at the Hard Rock Hotel in Hollywood, FL this weekend. My friend's family gets a room every now and then. Mostly a group of six people in a really nice mini-suite. During the day we'd go out to any other place and spend most of the evening in and around the many shops, restaurants, and amenities of the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.

Thursday, March 29, 2007
Gave a tour of the school to my friend's family as my friend went off to her 3 hour lab for Chemistry at Barry University. Before then we had gone to Pasha's Restaurant in the Biscayne Plaza and also for ice cream at Cold Stone. Afterwards we dropped off some of my friend's family and took the others to my friend's dorm room for some Finding Nemo. From there the Hollywood Hard Rock Experience started for me at least.

Friday, March 30, 2007
After finishing up classes and skipping one of mine, my friend and I went up to Hollywood to meet back up with her family. From their we took a long and I mean long trip to MR. Chu's Restaurant in South Beach, Florida. It took one hour and a half to take a trip that normally takes 45 minutes to an hour including the dramatic search for parking. Later that afternoon on return to the hotel us three young adults and one child went to the pool for a quick dip and relaxation in the hot tub. From there it was back up to the room, showers taken, and a little late night venturing into the shops and casino area. We shopped at a booth for Dead Sea facial and body cleansing products before re-entering the casino to see if any of us had one. Before hand I had signed up as a

Player's Club

member to which a drawing would be held for all members about 11pm that evening. Sadly none of my party had one, four players in all. After the drawing we went for pizza in the many different places of the food court and sent my friend's aunt to see if she could win from the voucher I had received for opening a card. No luck. She did win on it later. Guess it needed some warming up. In the end we found out that the four of us "kids" had been the good luck charm since things must have gone down hill when we left. The child, a three year old, had gotten tired so we took him back up to the room. After an attempt to watch Happy Feet, we all decided on sleep. The time was about 1am-2am at that point.

Hard Rock Shops, Restaurants, and Bars/Clubs

Tuscany Bistro



Johnny Rockets


Hard Rock Cafe


Bad Ass Coffee


Murphy's Law

Saturday, March 31, 2007
Alarm after alarm went off but no one woke up. That is until 10am when all the adults had to get ready to leave the resort that for a while had become home. After departure the first thing wanted was food before my friend's family returned back home to St. Petersberg, Florida. We stopped at Lester's Diner which happened to be conveniently located on the street that took them right onto

via

and us onto .

After a brief refill on fuel my friend and I left to go back to my parent's condo located just north of where we had brunch, Lauderdale by the Sea. I live in one of three buildings called the Sea Ranch Club just above Commercial Blvd. We played billards after coming home from dinner with my great-grandmother, 91 and still active, at a really nice Italian restaurant called Tedescos. Later became ice cream and movies and then eventually slumber.

Sunday, April 1, 2007
April Fools and Palm Sunday. Today is the day I'm writing and not much has gone on since. Right now it's a sunny day in Florida and I'm still at home. We'll probably leave tomorrow morning.

I Need To Wake Up - A Song By Melissa Etheridge

Have I been sleeping?

I’ve been so still

Afraid of crumbling

Have I been careless?

Dismissing all the distant rumblings

Take me where I am supposed to be

To comprehend the things that I can’t see

Cause I need to move

I need to wake up

I need to change

I need to shake up

I need to speak out

Something’s got to break up

I’ve been asleep

And I need to wake up

Now

And as a child

I danced like it was 1999

My dreams were wild

The promise of this new world

Would be mine

Now I am throwing off the carelessness of youth

To listen to an inconvenient truth

That I need to move

I need to wake up

I need to change

I need to shake up

I need to speak out

Something’s got to break up

I’ve been asleep

And I need to wake up

Now

I am not an island

I am not alone

I am my intentions

Trapped here in this flesh and bone

And I need to move

I need to wake up

I need to change

I need to shake up

I need to speak out

Something’s got to break up

I’ve been asleep

And I need to wake up

Now

I want to change

I need to shake up

I need to speak out

Oh, Something’s got to break up

I’ve been asleep

And I need to wake up

Now

Some Vids

Boychick

Workaholic

Living Lives

Dance 4 Life: DJ Tiesto with kids around the world.

"Spread Your Wings and Soar

"When you find yourself in some far off place
And it causes you to rethink some things
You start to sense that slowly you're becoming someone else
And then you find yourself
When you make new friends in a brand new town
And you start to think about settling down
The things that would've been lost on youAre now clear as a bell and you find yourself
Yeah, that's when you find yourself
When you go through life
So sure of where you're heading
And you wind up lost
And it's the best thing that could've happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way
It's really just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah, that's when you find yourself
---- Instrumental Interlude ----
When you meet the one that you've been waiting for
And she's everything that you want and more
You look at her and you finally start to live for someone else
And then you find yourself
Yeah, that's when you find yourself
We go through life
So sure of where we're heading
And then we wind up lost
And it's the best thing that could've happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your wayIt's really just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah, that's when you find yourself"

---"Find Yourself" Brad Paisley--Cars Soundtrack---

This weekend has been really interesting. I've gotten to know a few people a little bit more and noticed a rift really break apart between two friends. My money spending was a little over this weekend but it was still fun.

Ok. I used one song so far as my first quote but the next quote is from a movie. Broken Hearts Club.

"Kevin: [voice-over - end of movie] A lot of people ask me when I first knew I was gay. Fact is, I don't know. But what I do remember, what I can recall, is when I first realized it was Okay: It was when I met these guys. My friends."

I am gay but that is not the main idea I want to take from this quote. It's the fact that Andrew Keegan's character looks back and sees how great these people are that he's gotten to know. In just about two years I've gotten to know some really great people. When I look back it is as if I'm Kevin. When I came to college I first started to remember what my high school friends had taught me. "You need to tell him." A reference to my roommate that I would soon have that one Fall 2004. I didn't actually tell him until Spring 2005 in an e-mail but it's not about him anymore. I don't even see let alone talk to him anymore. It's just the point in my life when everything started. It's now my third year in college and I'm pretty much known to be gay or at least I have people telling the slightly confused. So to end this part of my blog I can once again refer back to the quote. "It doesn't matter when I knew I was gay but that around my friends it was okay."

"When I first saw you I said "O My", I said "O My"
That's a dream
That's my dream I needed a dream
When it all seemed to go bad
Then I found you
And I have had the most beautiful dreams any mans ever had
[Verse 2] When I first saw you I said "O My", "O My"
That's my dream
That's my dream I needed a dream
To make me strong
You were the only reason I had to go on
[Chorus]
You were my dream
All the things I never knew
You were my dream
Who could believe they could ever come true
And who would believe
The world would believe
And my dreams too
[Verse 3] When I first saw you I said "O My", "O My"
That's my dream
[Fade Out]

---"When I First Saw You" Dream Girls Soundtrack---

A lot of what I'm hearing now is about relationships. People talk to me about theirs and wonder about who I have crushes on. My crushes are in a big part straight men but who can't resist a straight man anyway? With me I just use my semester crushes to have a little fun during the semester. Some roll over but some don't. From last semester I had one roll over but that's been recurring for a lot of semesters. The other from last semester is because he lives in my building. Some fade over time so I forget about them. It also helps me in realizing that they are straight and will forever be.

"Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release
Oh,the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your ownall cause you won't
Listen....
[Chorus]
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,Now I'm done believin you
You don't know what I'm feelin I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to meBut now I gotta find, my own..
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
Sooo long ago
Ohh I'm free now and my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your armsAll cause you won't
Listen...
[Chorus]
I don't know where I belong
But i'll be movin onIf you don't....If you won't....
LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've startBut I will complete
Oh, Now i'm done believin you
You dont know what I'm feelin
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..my own..."

---"Listen"--Beyonce--Dream Girls Soundtrack---

This last song sums up today in a special song that I hope people can find inspiration from. Free yourself and don't let anyone take the voice from inside you. Spread your wings and soar.

"Don't be scared to fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door
It's in your hands
The world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for
Spread your wings and soar"
---"Soar"--Christina Aguilera---

Restart to the daily.

So what happened today? Basically nothing. Woohoo. Like that hasn't happened to anyone before. Recently it's been interesting with friend's relationships but other than that things are pretty much the same. Just another day in the neighborhood. LOL.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Celebs:

Justin Harris


Justin Timberlake


Adam Rickitt


Eric Nies


David Chokachi


Chris Evans


Channing Tatum


Chad Michael Murray


Casper Van Diem


Cameron Mathison


Brad Pitt


Antonio Sabato Jr.


Andy Roddick


Jay Kenneth Johnson

Meaning To A Picture

My profile picture is basically a collage of pictures that I put together.

---

The Main Picture...This picture symbolizes who I am, what I like to do, and what I'm interested in.

---

Gay Pride Flag...Basically it's the gay flag that everyone is accustomed to. Ideally just the placement of it tells you that the person probably is gay or at least that's the way I see it.

---

Care Bears...I used to joke that this was my OGT. The Broken Hearts Club Movie used the term OGT, Obviously Gay Traits, so I made a little joke with it as being mine. Over the Rainbow kind of thing. My favorite thing to watch as a kid and I even have one of my own, Sunshine Bear.

---

---

The American Flag...Not exactly the flat kind of flag you normally see but something that actually looks more real as it waves in the wind.

---

Home Sweet Home...Just a picture of the view from my place in Fort Lauderdale, Florida overlooking the ocean.

---

Peace Sign...I'm all for peace so I have this up there. It's also sort of rainbow colored which for me was just that I like things colorful but can mean other things. On Facebook, Myspace, and Myyearbook I had been using it for a profile pic and also as a gay representation.

---

Gay Couples...The next two are both of what I see as my sensuality and sexuality towards a person of the same sex.

---

---

HRC Symbol...The equality symbol for the 21st century, to me is the sort of flag or picture that I'd like seen in the gay community. It's not just for those who identify as gay, bisexual, or transgendered but also to those who are gay friendly.

---

Freedom of the Seas...A great love for travel I decided to use a picture similar to this one. I also hope to have a job in the travel or cruise industry one day.